Things You Wished You Knew Before Initiating a Relationship
#The advice no one tells you but you need.
You met her in the first semester of your college or found her somewhere in a library turning the pages of Fifty Shades.
Or, sitting alone in a cafe you came across someone so gorgeous on the table beside you, it made you fall in love with the style of his hair or that muscular look and chiselled cheekbone.
Sometimes, love happens in your office when you two get extra hours to talk about your favourite episode of Friends, initiating those conversations into dinner and finally, lots of kisses and cuddles in the lobby.
Ah, such a romantic feeling. Who wouldn’t want that? We all do. However, there’s a flaw in this attraction that you might be unaware of. So let me burn your fantasies and whatever BS you’re feeding yourself into ashes.
Attraction isn’t Love. Liking isn’t love:
First of all, the word love in itself is so vague and large, it’s entirely impossible for me to describe it in one sentence or paragraph. So let’s save it for the other day. Now, getting back to the point.
What you’ve been taught about love through media, movies and TV shows is a lie. You’ve been spoon feeded the definition of ideal relationship based on looks or power or success.
It’s an illusion to believe someone you came across with chiselled cheekbones and muscular body or a big-fat ass and bigger boobs that looks like a porn star you’ve been fantasizing about for months, is love.
Well, it’s not.
It’s just an attraction or liking similar to your choices regarding clothes or any other materialistic things. It’s what you’ve conditioned your brain for to act onto.
The difference? Sex, conversation and other regular activities are involved here which releases oxytocin and other chemicals inside your brain, making the bond stronger overtime.
So, you call it LOVE.
Just because you vibe with someone, doesn’t mean you initiate a relationship:
Having a great vibe with someone, doesn’t necessarily mean you initiate a relationship and call it love. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. What does having a great vibe actually mean?
It’s when the other person laughs at your silly jokes about unravelled mysteries of the universe or you two have the same taste for music or movies or have similar hobbies of sketching a fish-butt. It’s when you talk or hold hands and watch a movie together, you feel calmed. When you find it, you know it. It’s there.
Sometimes, things get so complicated and rough that you may end up kissing each other and even leading that to sex. However, this doesn’t mean you initiate a relationship. I know it’s complicated so allow me to explain.
Relationship involves accepting the flaws of the partner and accepting them despite it, not a means to get something or to fulfil your intrinsic desire.
There may be some qualities you admire and a lot of those that pisses you off. You oughta look out for that too. The same rules apply to the other person.
Oftentimes, people with a great vibe initiate a relationship despite knowing something’s not working well here. I call it, being great at bed. The chemistry is mind-boggling. The vibe is great.
Sooner, one person meets someone new where everything feels so perfectly aligned. This leads to a breakup, and the other one is left confused.
So, having a great vibe with someone does not necessarily mean you initiate a relationship.
Having a great vibe with someone can also lead to an awesome friendship. Have you tried that? Ever? Try it out and see how it works.
Because a relationship predicated on false expectations of your own or the other only leads to frustration at the end.
