Here’s Why Moving On After Breakup Feels Like a Pain In The Ass
#And how you can.
You know, breakups suck. They make you clueless and a hyper maniac who’s unaware of what’s going on. Anyone who claims the other way around, must be an idiot on his way to repeat the same shit again after years of their recent breakup.
The same toxicity. The same manipulation. The same game playing; the same relationship based on someone’s bigger boobs and others’ big pile of money, where love is flowing like water in the river, but values and respect remain buried under the mud. Not the kind of relationship I want, neither do you.
So, when going through a breakup, it’s essential for you to allow yourself to heal and learn lessons presented to you. Ignore it, and repeat the same shit again. However, moving on and healing doesn’t happen overnight.
Ask anyone who’s been through this, and they’ll tell you a story of how their relationship started flawlessly, and lead them to late night chats. Love was so pure and authentic, it sparked a life every time they were together. Then, after a few months or years, things turned out badly and nothing remained the same.
So, it’s not the lack of presence of your ex that hurts you the most, it’s the lack of this excitement and feeling of being taken care of or loved, lack of having someone always by your side that hurts you the most.
It’s the feeling. The attachment. The memories. The broken promises. The broken trust. Sometimes, being manipulated. Other times, being lied to or cheated. These are the things that hurt you the most.
And believe me, it’s painful. Moving on is a pain in the ass, and let me tell you.
It’s not a groundbreaking discovery or that I’ve spent years asking dumbass questions to those with broken hearts and came up with something extraordinary, these are the simple indicators you can see.
When you started a relationship with someone, you formed a habit. Think of times you guys talked for hours on the phone. Think of the time you guys kissed each other, cuddled and had sex. Think of the times you guys went out for movies and dinner. Think of the times you guys were always there for each other, available for sex chat or whatever soulmate things people do when needed.
I’m neither a neuroscientist nor a professor of psychology, however, I do know these activities, if done repeatedly, form habits and activate a lot of hormones or chemicals inside your brain. These chemicals are responsible for bonding, obviously. They form new pathways inside your brain. They form memories, feelings of highness, the science geeks call it the release of dopamine and oxytocin.
So, if these activities continue on for let’s say months or even years, and suddenly you’ve a breakup, how in the world are you gonna fix these pathways instantly? How is it possible for your human brain to shut this part of yours and form new habits? It’s hard, right?
And it’s always harder for you and not for you ex, cause they already found someone to do the same shit with before dumping you. It’s not rocket-science. Get your facts checked by a spy agent on that.
They do the same shit again until they swallow a pill called, realization. Let them do that. It’s harder for you now cause all those attachments and feelings are gone in a glimpse of an eye. All love and promises flowed away.
Your ex doesn’t care about you anymore. Even if they act as if they do, trust me, they don’t. They’re just bored and want attention.
And it gets harder for you to move on because either you think that your ex was the one for you and you’re never gonna fall in love again, or you repeat some patterns and habits again and again.
Trust me, you’re gonna heal. Everything’s gonna be fine. But, at first, you must allow yourself to heal.
Don’t do the same shit that most people do: Over drinking and over smoking. Or, crying throughout your day with swollen eyes that look as if you’re high on cocaine.
Relax.
Cry out loud if you want to. Go on a hike if you need.
Talk with your friends and family.
Work on your hobbies.
Exercise. Eat healthy and sleep.
Don’t play the same bullshit songs in a loop where the lyrics indicate as if a breakup or lack of presence of that one person means your whole world turned upside down.
And most importantly, be single, seriously.
Being single and working on yourself to become a better person is what you must do. Allow yourself to heal. Be someone you can be proud of when you look at yourself in the mirror. Stop dying for relying on someone for validation or sex.
And see how self-secured and self- sufficient of a person you’ll be. This way, you’ll seek a relationship as companionship instead of getting false validations or ah, the other version of what you call love, SEX.
